Family Guy
S8E21: Partial Terms of Endearment
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Okay, well, sperm is alive, and every time you masturbate, millions of them die, so is it wrong to kill sperm? Yes. Yes, it is. From now on, no more masturbating in this house. (STAMMERING) What? Why? Because masturbation is abortion. But abortion helps me get my homework done. And sometimes I abort in my sleep!
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