Futurama
S6E6: Lethal Inspection
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(BUZZER SOUNDS) Damn it, it won't go on!
That's because you're not me.
Hooray, it won't go on!
The bureaucra-scan won't let anyone but the assigned bureaucrat log in.
(AUTOMATED VOICE READING) Also, you have a rectangular mass in your colon.
That's a calculator. I ate it to gain its power.