The Simpsons

S5E17: Bart Gets an Elephant

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but Daddy has to go to a beer-drinking contest today. Think you'll win? Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get. Gotcha. Well, gotta go. Me too. Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there, Mom. Push her down, Son. No one's going anywhere.